The Nigella Lawson ‘Story’

 

A man’s penis came away in his hand after masturbating to Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen non-stop for 72 hours.

 The 45 year old man, who didn’t want to be named as Craig Clunderthump of 32 Abergunt Road, Killay, Swansea, was admitted to hospital last night. He was still clutching his detached penis.

He told WalesOnCraic:

“I forgot I had it taped on Sky+ and on the weekend, I was looking for something to watch and thought it’d be nice to see what she cooked. Within minutes, I found myself staring at a little chubby in my pants and after ten minutes, I was going at it like the clappers.”

It didn’t stop there. Craig Clunderthump of 32 Abergunt Road, Killay, Swansea, continued to strangle Kojak for another three days until his love truncheon came away in his hand.

“I wasn’t quite sure what had happened at first,” he said. “It was only when I realised that I could whack myself in the face with it that I realised that something was wrong.”

Ambulance workers arrived to find Craig Clunderthump of 32 Abergunt Road, Killay, Swansea, still sat in his armchair.

“The way she caresses those parnips,” he added.

Cake …or something ??

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The Nigella Lawson ‘Story’

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